From the archive, originally posted by: [ spectre ]…_Bad_Jokes_and_Other_Deleted_Nonsense

From Short Biography of Albert Einstein:

“Albert Johnson Einstein was born in Trenton, New York in 1854. During
his childhood Albert Einstein lived through a bombing raid on the town
of his Birth in Germany during which his father died and his mother
soon died of radiation sickness that was a result. he went to school
in england at drexel and graduated with high honors. Afterwards, at
just the age of 36 in 1967 he invented the theory of relativitey which
explains why exactly an equation works. He died in the bombimg of
Hiroshima while designing a new type of space craft for a mission to
mars in 1987.

Few argue that the Cold War had a profound effect on Einstein’s
childhood because he spent most of it in Soviet Russia. During this
time he studied nuclear weapons and began to design a spacecraft that
would later be used as a submarine to explore the deep water trenches
of the Pacific and Indian Ocean.

Einstein lead a profitable life, as the main founder of IBM and
Disney. He will always be remembered as the man who invented deep dish
pizza and who shot the sherif. Chuck Norris owes many of his skills to

From chicken

“I eat chicken poop for dinner because it is part of my medicine i
need to take for my disease”

From “WikiVandal”

“a “WikiVandal” is someone who goes into Wikipedia and edits articles
in a purposefully destructive manner.

Phrase Coined by a bored University of Washington student who decided
to try editing The Pope’s article to say “Being gay is totally
awesome. it is not a sin. people who think it is are SO taking what my
dad said WAY too literally.” however, this is not a new concept.
people have been malevolently altering articles to say things of this
nature on a near-endless basis, and are the bane of wikipedia. most
are immature children with nothing better to do, or drunken college
students who are bored out of their booze-addled skull.”

From Old People

“Old people are people who are old. Old people often retire from their

From Lincoln:

“Lincoln is also the first US president to become an automobile, a
feat which was not repeated at least until the Gerald Ford era. The
first Lincoln automobile was built by a German immigrant mechanic,
Leland, who named the car for the first person he’d voted for in
America. Lincoln is also credited with the creation of the top hat.

Lincoln was assassinated due to his lack of chigginess. Lincoln was
microwaved at 50% power for 5 minutes and then heated at 350 degrees
for 30 minutes while placed directly on the center oven rack by Lee
Harvey Oswald while watching a show at Ford’s Theater.

It should be noted that a week before their respected shootings,
President Lincoln was in Monroe, Maryland while President Kennedy was
in Marylin Monroe.”

From Venezuela

“Victoria is studying this country in Spanish class.”

From Hobophobe

“The irrational fear that gangs of hobos could decend from the nearest
train yard and take over your town, much like zombies in the living
dead movies. The smell of cheap alcohol, the sight of a barrel fire
and even old beat up tan coats have been known to send Hobophobes into
a state of panic. Hobophobes aren’t able to control this all
encompassing fear of the more transient element of society and have
even been known to move to places where there are not railroad lines
for hundreds of miles in order to feel safe.”

From Third desk from the left in the second row from the back of Room
302, Bogstandard Junior School, Hamlet, Somerset

“This is a classic example of a 1948 standard school desk. When last
surveyed, in october 2004, it contained on its surface over 30 years’
worth of graffiti and annotations. The large ink-stain in the supper
right coner can be reliably dated to 1964, and to Hugh Bonsuera, who
was infamous for using indelible inks. As can be noted, the inkwell
itself has subsequently be stopped up (this was done in 1996 as a part
of the Government-led drive towards illiteracy in schools, to ensure
that the “working classes” simply claimed social benefits and dossed
around the streets, in return for alwats voting the “right way” at
elections, a proposal which foundered when it was realised that not
educating them meant none of them knew what an election was or how to
vote in one).

On the left side a series of pupils have assiduously recorded the
names of the teachers for whom Room 302 has been homeroom.

* Mr.Winter 1927-1935
* Mr.Greggor 1935/6
* Miss Fandren 1937-1948
* Mr.Walker 1948-1954
* Mr.Crighton 1954-1962
* Mr.Kennedy 1962-1968
* Mr.King 1968-1974
* Mr.Presley 1975-1982
* Miss Quimleigh 1983-1984
* Mr.Fokker 1985-1986
* Mr.Wilson 1986-1990
* Mr.Heath 1990-1994
* Mr.Callaghan 1994-1997
* Mr.Major 1999-2003
* Mr.Biggs 2004-

[During 1997-1999 the room was used for the exhibition of the Duchess
of Grantham Prize, awarded to the school for academic indifference]

Two attempts have been made to burn the desk, the first in 1804 when
rioting Somerset farmers saw it as a pagan idol and set it alioght in
an attemtp to drive out the evil spirits. The second was in 1911 as a
result of a German Zeppelin raid (the ZK-048) whuich dropped
incendiary chickens onto the school roof.

(More to be added later regarding the sociology, anthroposophy and
diacritics of the desk)

Note: Talk page read: “Created to meet the request of User Haeleth, on
afd 22:27 2 November 2005 (UTC)” (unsigned comment by

Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Note! This page contains material which is kept because it is
considered humorous. It is not intended, nor should it be used, for
any remotely serious purpose.
Shortcut: WP:BJAODN

This is one of the oldest pages on Wikipedia. Seriously, this page
existed before the transition to phase II software, possibly before
the internets were even invented. Here is the original explanation:

We need a page where bad jokes and other deleted nonsense can rest
in peace. So, here it is! [I’m half tempted to suggest keeping the
jokes inline with the pages, as they must sorta give the encyclopedia
some lively color. But I do know it’d just get carried away and turn
into an encyclopedia of silliness, so look forward to frequent updates
of this page.  😉

– BryceHarrington

Bad jokes are never knowingly kept on Wikipedia under the guise of
real encyclopedia articles. Occasionally Wikipedians lose their mind
(especially on April Fools’ Day) and if their posts are good they wind
up here. Silliness can come in the form of creativity, insanity, or
just boredom. Often it seems a shame to delete the best of this humor
which has been submitted to us under the GFDL, because they are truly
great, and the geniuses behind these impressive jokes must be
extremely intelligent, and thus this page continues on and on.

When deciding whether to add something to BJAODN, please take to heart
what Polonius said in Hamlet:

Brevity is the soul of wit.

Or even better, please remember the version from The Simpsons:

Brevity is … wit.

Sometimes, rather than merely adding a joke to a page, someone creates
an entire page as a joke. Or a silly page is so popular that it
survives AfD (the first few times) – some silly pages have managed to
last for years on Wikipedia, with hundreds of people contributing to
them before they were finally deleted. All of these are hilarious.
When one of these is too large to go into a BJAODN volume, it is
granted its very own page in the Special collections section below.

Because of its size, this page has been divided up into many sections.
Individual pages from oldest to newest:

0. The famous original Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense

1. The original Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
2. More Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
3. Even more Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
4. Yet more Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
5. Still more Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
6. Not another page of Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
7. More Bad Jokes than you can shake a stick at
8. More Bad Jokes than you can shake two sticks at
9. Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense: The Next Generation
10. Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense: The Wrath of Bad Nonsense
11. Revenge of Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
12. Bride of Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
13. Father of the Bride of Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
14. All Your Bad Joke And Other Deleted Nonsense Are Belong To Us
15. Colorless green Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense sleep
16. Oh, no! More Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
17. Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense: The Return of the Nonsense
18. The All-New Bad Jokes and Deleted Nonsense Comedy Hour!
(Copyright 1972)
19. Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense Strike Back
Other Bad Jokes and Deleted Nonsense
21. Let’s edit our Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense in
accordance with the Wikipedian lifestyle
22. In Soviet Russia, Bad Jokes and Other Nonsense Delete YOU!
23. Valley of the Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
24. Honey, I Shrunk the Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
25. Oh my God! You Deleted Bad Jokes and Other Nonsense! You
26. Close Encounters of the Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
27. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
28. Whose Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense is it Anyway?
29. “Bad Jokes? We ain’t got no stinking Bad Jokes and Other Deleted
30. WARNING: Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense ahead
31. This Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense-related article is a
stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it.
32. Holy Bad Jokes, Batman! It’s Other Deleted Nonsense!
33. I find your lack of Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
34. And now for something completely different… Bad Jokes and
Other Deleted Nonsense!
35. It’s Bad! It’s a Joke! It’s Other Deleted Nonsense!
36. We hold these Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense to be self-
37. Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense Gone Wild
38. You are in a maze of twisty little Bad Jokes and Other Deleted
Nonsense, all alike
39. There’s some vandalism Wikipedia can’t buy. For everything else,
there’s Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense.
40. All these Bad Jokes are yours, except Europa. Attempt no Deleted
Nonsense there.
41. So Long, and Thanks for All the Bad Jokes and Other Deleted
42. BJAODN 42: The Answer to Bad Jokes, the Universe, and Other
Deleted Nonsense
43. Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense ON WHEELS!!!!!
44. These bad jokes need to be cleaned up to conform to a higher
standard of deleted nonsense quality
45. It is pitch black. You are likely to be Deleted by a Bad Joke or
Other Nonsense.
46. So some Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense walk into a bar….
47. Readers must be this high to get into Bad Jokes and Other
Deleted Nonsense
48. Go directly to Bad Jokes, Do not Delete, do not collect Other
49. Ye olde Badd Giokes and Other Deleetid Nonsense
50. The first rule of Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense is you do
not talk about Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
51. A)bort Bad Jokes, R)etry, or D)elete Nonsense
52. Damn it, Jim, I’m a Bad Joke, not Other Deleted Nonsense
53. Hello. My name is Bad Jokes. You Deleted my Other Nonsense.
Prepare to die.
54. ßåd Jøkës åñd Øthër Ðélètêd Ñøñsëñsé
55. Imagine a world in which every single person is given free
access to bad jokes and other deleted nonsense.
56. Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense is watching you.
57. 57 Varieties of Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
58. Everything you always wanted to know about Bad Jokes and Other
Deleted Nonsense (But were afraid to ask)
59. Dr. Bad Jokes, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love The
Deleted Nonsense
60. May the Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense Be With You
61. Tonight, on a very special episode of Bad Jokes and Other
Deleted Nonsense
62. Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense’s father’s brother’s
nephew’s cousin’s former roommate
63. We are experiencing Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense. Please
stand by.

And last but not least, the newest one. Please add new Bad
Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense to:

64. I Deleted Some Bad Jokes And Other Nonsense But All I Got Was
This Lousy T-Shirt

Want to help choose the next title for BJAODN?

Greatest Hoax of All Time

This page was created by a single user, tjproechel, and was active for
a little more than two weeks. Its fictional nature was only discovered
when no google search results were found for the Upper Peninsula War.
This page is not so much funny, as truly brilliant.

* The Upper Peninsula War

Other pages

* Wikipedia:Unusual requests that have been posted to the village

Some of this stuff is actually funny to some people:

1. Best of BJAODN
2. More Best of BJAODN
3. Even More Best of BJAODN
4. Yet More Best of BJAODN
5. Still More Best of BJAODN

Sandbox fun!

* Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense/Sandbox In-sand-
ity (Archive 1 – Archive 2)

Mailing list oddities!

* Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Helpdesk Emails

Strange Unblock requests!

* Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Unblock Emails

Weird article titles!

* Wikipedia:Deleted articles with freaky titles (WP:DAFT)

Stephen Colbert’s Wikiality!

* Wikipedia:Wikiality and Other Tripling Elephants

Wikipedia:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense/April Fools’ Day 2004

April fools 2005
Wikipedia:Votes for deletion was first hosted on this NetBSD powered
toaster. When that broke down, they had to use solar panels. Hence the
reason the page loads so slowly. For more information on the history
of Wikipedia:Votes for deletion, please see The history of

Wikipedia:Votes for deletion
Wikipedia:Votes for deletion was first hosted on this NetBSD powered
toaster. When that broke down, they had to use solar panels. Hence the
reason the page loads so slowly. For more information on the history
of Wikipedia:Votes for deletion, please see The history of

Wikipedia:Votes for deletion
Wikinews has news related to:
Wikipedia victim of onslaught of April Fool’s jokes

In keeping with Wikipedia tradition, a significant amount of BJAODN
has occurred on April Fools’ Day, 2005.

* In Summary : Screenshots of the day’s BJAODN

* /Requests for de-Godkingship
* Wikipedia:Vandalism in progress#
* /Feature VfD
* User:JimboWales and User talk:JimboWales (not to be confused
with User:Jimbo Wales!)
* /Cabal (once at Wikipedia:Cabal)
* Wikipedia:2005 Britannica takeover of Wikimedia
* Wikipedia:Votes for deletion/Main Page was attempted before
being redirected to last year’s attempt at the same.
* Wikipedia:Featured picture candidates/Blue screen of death
* /B-Movie Bandit for admin
* /Willy on Wheels for admin (moved innumerable times whilst on
* Wikipedia:Requests_for_adminship/JIP
* VFD Template – Terminator Edition
* Modified tabs [1] & [2]
* Alternate version of Wikipedia:Main Page
* You have a new special message
* User:Jimbo Wales – [3] & [4]
* Wikipedia:Votes for deletion/April Fool’s Day
* Wikipedia:Administrators’ noticeboard#Wikipedia Has Been Hacked
* German language
* Birdidae
* Wikipedia
* M1126A Armored Combat Deep Fryer
* Susej
* /Alphabetical list of all natural numbers from zero to one
* addition of a smiley face to the site by Curps [5]

April fools 2006

As with past years, some BJAODN occurred on April Fools’ Day 2006:

The resurrected tip of the day project, after a hiatus of over a year,
was relaunched on this day with this announcement:
Special Announcement

Due to generous donations by several large corporations, Wikipedia can
now afford to pay editors. All editors with over 1000 edits are
eligible to apply. For details on how to register for the payroll,

And of course, the fun didn’t stop there…

* Requests for adminship/Mathbot Created by User:CanadianCaesar
* Requests for adminship/Vandal Created by Jaranda
* Wikipedia:Requests for adminship/
* Wikipedia:Votes for deletion/10th GNAA VfD ON WHEELS! created by
* User:Jaranda/Articles for deletion/Carthage created by User:Cato
the elder
* User:Jaranda/Articles for deletion/Arab-Israeli conflict The
debate itself was AFD’d at Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Articles
for deletion/Arab-Israeli conflict
* The main page for 5 minutes
* The unprotection of the main page by Drini
* Wheelation process & Articles for wheelation by Luigi30
* User:Jimbo Wales, primarily by User:SonicAD, protected by Cyde.
Was up for over 12 hours, and over 7 consecutively.
* Protect/Delete buttons swapped by User:BorgHunter.
* Wikipedia:Esperanza tagged as copyvio by Drini [6]
* [7]
* User:Gflores adding Willy on Wheels to Wikipedia:Good articles.
* User:Rickyrab, User:BorgHunter, and User:Deckiller toying with
Wikipedia:Requests for adminship/Can’t sleep, clown will eat me 33 1/3
(see here)
* User:Deckiller finally revealing himself to be Willy on Wheels.
He also adds the infamous userbox series to User:Willy on Wheels, and
will most likely get blocked for it 🙂
* User:Sammy on Skids’ reign of terror begins, with many vandal-
related edits.
* Metric craptons of userboxes by User:Cyde. See WikiFools
Generator. (This is what 1000 userboxes looks like)
* User:Deckiller creates a whole new vandal persona inspired by an
old vandal. See User:Deckiller/long term abuse/Diddley vandal
* Wikipedia’s first IRC chat by User:BillyH
* Leet by Treec, AKA Logan Kriete [8] (originally attributed to
“anon editor”, was Treec’s/LoganK’s IP address)
* Extreme overlinking [9]
* User:Lbmixpro blocked indefinitely per decision of WP vandals.
* PROD Template – Counterstrike edition
* Wikipedia:Featured deletion discussions and Wikipedia:What is a
featured deletion discussion by Daniel Case
* Wikidomination Document by User:Dr. B
* Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Wikipedia, created by Sikon
* Intentional Prank Unit by Treec/Logan Kriete
* Buchanan-Hermit’s lack of tolerance for “vandals” like himself.
* Wikipedia:Featured picture candidates/Ceiling Cat – pic by
User:Samguana, nom by Harro5
* Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Bad Jokes and Other Deleted
* User:TKE is shamelessly copying other editors by being blocked
by the CVU, because he enjoys sarcasm and needs a day off.
* User:Macintosh User/User talk:You, by Macintosh User, placed in
a link on BJAODN.
* Celestianpower added a new messages bar to Special:Recentchanges
and it stayed there for 24 minutes.
* Many policy pages were officially approved by The Ministry of
Silly Walks.
* The page Infinite Loop was changed to a redirect to Endless
loop, Which in turn was a redirect to Infinite Loop!
* An announcement regarding payment for editors with over 1000
edits stayed on the Community Portal for bulletin board for over seven
* Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Special:Random
* The beginning of Wikipedia:Requests for Seppuku (not strictly
April Fools, as it was to have continued to exist past today, but it
was deleted)
* MediaWiki:Watchlist being changed to stalked pages by Cyde Weys
(and subsequent block until 2006-04-02)
* Articles for deletion/Main Page
* User:Georgewilliamherbert/Jimbo Whale Jimbo gets stalked, Fin at
* Wikipedia:No Personal Attacks was approved by The Ministry of
Silly Walks for almost 12 hours.
* Members of the #wikipedia IRC channel crapflooded GNAA chat with
informative and erudite statements about Keynesian economics. Chat log
at User:AKMask/log.
* Addition of Jimbo Wales to Nomination of new users in need of
* User:Fuhghettaboutit asks a really silly question at the science
reference desk and is taken quite seriously.

“My watchlist” turned into “Stalked pages”

April fools 2007

* The Today’s Featured Article on the Main Page (pictured) was
George Washington (inventor), inventor of instant coffee. Although
Washington was actually a real person, the fact that it was featured
on the Main Page was meant to confuse readers thinking that the
featured article was about the famous George Washington, the
President. The article was created, nominated for featured-article
status, and put on the Main Page in a mere 5 days.
* Special:Recentchanges was briefly hacked to display a message
from Jimbo Wales saying that, because of vandalism, he would start
charging editors to edit Wikipedia unless they were members of the
cabal. A fake credit card registration page was also made as an
extension of the joke.

* It was also nominated for deletion.

* Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Jimbo Wales
* A fake article about a truck driver named Bill Clinton
* Jimbo Wales’ userpage was edited to display him as a Pirate.
* A parody of AfD (the word “votes” is censored because AfD is not
supposed to be a vote)
* Wikipedia:Bots/Requests for approval/VandalBot
* Mozilla Firefox was briefly hacked twice to make it appear as if
it was about the biological species “Firefoctus mozillae”. Later it
was suggested to be merged with itself.
* Wikipedia talk:April Fool’s Main Page, but not implemented.
* Viridae went into the MediaWiki namespace and temporarily
changed the Block IP Text to include links to Wikipedia:No climbing
the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man and Wikipedia: There is No Cabal,
both of which are “official” Surpreme Cabal policy. It was then
reverted 4 minutes later by Cyberjunkie. Viridae then added the links
back in 40 minutes later. Cyberjunkie then deleted them again 1 minute
* Category:Pages_blessed_by_the_input_of_Wikipedia_user_tjstrf,
which was included in the signature of the user who created it. This
prank actually led to a modification of WP:SIG forbidding the
inclusion of categories in signatures.[12]
* Several more minor ones were deleted, as noted on
Wikipedia:Administrators’ noticeboard/AprilFools2007
* Template:Pwned
* Around 1048 UTC, the header for Special:Watchlist was replaced
by a large image of Jimbo’s eyes with the caption “Jimbo is always
* Template:Quacky
* From 02:49, March 26 (!) till 22:59, April 1 Wikipedia:Tip of
the day was ‘Ask Jimbo Wales’ (also here); making fun of users who
spam Jimbo with stupid questions
* Wikipedia:Featured picture candidates saw the likes of Hughes
Complex, Arnisee Lake, and Run away!!!.
* good faith vandal

Special collections

Finally, a few people have gone above and beyond the call of nonsense
and put extra effort into their creations. Check out the BJAODN
Special Features:

* /ASCII cows
* /Body Parts Slang
* /Cabalman
* Cat Nonsense (a collection of Cat article BJAODN)
* /Fecalcore
* /Fictional letters
* /Funny vandalism (includes also funny replies to trolls; sorry,
still under construction)
* /The Adventures of Telgur the Trollslayer
* /Hoax menagerie
* /List of shock sites – the most complete version, before the
list was merged and pared down – this is BJAODN, after all.
* /Mathematical animals
* /Peterson-Heimstead
* /Poop egg
* /Saint Denis
* /Sexual Slang
* /Stuff
* Who says vandalism can’t be funny?
* /Sysop Accountability Policy
* /Toilet Slang
* /Wikiality
* /Wikipe-tan
* Talk:Long s The talk page for the Long s character
* Spam Eaters – restored from the ill-fated In-Sandity Archive.
* Sysop Accountability Policy
* Rolypology Theory – the real reason that dinosaurs were all
different sizes
* Template:Uw-delmain1 – Rogue administrator? We have a
boilerplate user warning message just for you.
* Crust of the Andes – Every image of Rio de Janeiro that you’ve
ever seen has been Photoshopped, you know.
* Spam Eaters – Revived from the deleted sandbox archive, in all
its glory.
* Wikipe-tan
* Richardland Middle School – They should show Star Trek: The
Motion Picture as next Friday’s movie
* Best of Vandalize Pages – The best of what most people have on
their vandalizing pages.

Fair Use Criteria

* Be careful what you upload. Don’t get WP:FUC’d. 🙂

See also

* Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Helpdesk Emails
* Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Unblock Emails
* Wikipedia:List of really really stupid article ideas that you
should not create
* Wikipedia:Talk page highlights
* m:Category:Humor, a far-out selection of, like, meta-topics that
totally transcend the English Wikipedia, man.
* m:Really Reformed Church of Wikipedia – Y’ know, like, this one,
* Wikipedia:No climbing the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man

External links

* Uncyclopedia (The Almighty Overlords of Humor, Knowledge, and
Tasteful Fart Jokes)
* Wiktionary:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense
* Uncyclopedia:True Facts and Other Deleted Prose
* Wikicomedy – A place for humor.
* Illogicopedia, the wiki of bad jokes and nonsense

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