From the archive, originally posted by: [ mmmcallister ]

With This Herring I Thee Wed
British woman ‘marries’ dolphin, tying the net after 15-year courtship
“It’s not a perverted thing. I do love this dolphin. He’s the love of my life.”

Supposedly this lady’s intentions aren’t sexual. This guy on the other hand….

Sex with Dolphins – “How To”, and a Personal Viewpoint…
by Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn September, 1996

Q) Why Dolphins?

A) Dolphins are very intelligent, highly emotional and expressive creatures. They enjoy the company of humans, and if a relationship develops between a human and a dolphin, as has happened with me, they will, on occasion, wish to express their trust and affection for you in the most direct way; through mating, or sex-play. You see, dolphins do not use sex purely for procreative reasons. They use it as a way of strengthening the bonds between pod mates (mothers and calves included), and also for fun. Dolphins and humans share this common trait with very few other animals, so sometimes it makes me wonder when people continue to ask me “How DO you mate with a dolphin?”. Easy. Let the dolphin tell you!
*note that this article is in the ‘family’ section of this sexwork (prostitution) advocacy website. don’t forget to read the articles by the guy who’s wife, four daughters and 15 year old granddaughter are all prostitutes! A nice Roman Catholic family if I ever saw one!

And of course, an article on a dolphin trying to rape a Norwegian man.

Swimmer Escapes Rape by Dolphin who seem to be swingers   <–I swear this is really the title

“At first I thought it was pushing me with its flipper but dolphins don’t have flippers beneath their bellies,” the unidentified swimmer explained.

The dolphin was just confused you say?
Read on…..

Species survival strategies (rivalry, runt removal, etc.) can validate infanticide. But scientists are stumped by the abundant porpoise slaughter and sexual violation fests that dolphins engage in, not to mention the apparent revelry they display in their appalling deeds. Even evolution can’t explain why male dolphins leap for joy after corralling terrified females for a spot of rape. Or why they laugh their dolphin laughs, high-fiving each other with their flippers. Or why dolphin penises stand erect after a murder most foul. Or maybe we made that up. We do not know for sure. We do know there is such a thing as evil, and dolphins, it appears, know it too.

and this by real-live scientists:
Infanticide Reported in Dolphins

“There is this public ethos that dolphins couldn’t do a thing like that,” observes Tony Patterson of the Inverness Veterinary Centre in Scotland. Yet five carcasses of youngsters discovered in Moray Firth show a “specific and consistent pattern” of injuries typical of dolphin attacks, he says.

they’re sneaky little fucks too – apparently they have changed the frequency at which they communicate so we can’t hear them! (Or maybe its so they can hear each other over all of the noise we make. We don’t really know.)

but dolphins aren’t the animals that do fucked up shit!

monkey prostitution:

and even penguin prostitution!!

the difference between these two cases is that with the monkeys the male offered the female money for sex. With the penguins however, a female (who already had a mate) approached the single male so she could bang him and then steal from him. or not even bang him at all!

“Often the females took stones away from the males without offering sex in return. The females would flirt exactly as before, only they would skip the mating and take off with a stone. “It’s as if she takes the money and runs,” says Davis. Strangely, none of the males protested, though a few tried unsuccessfully to mount the females. One of the females came back for no fewer than 62 stones within the space of an hour. “These males are not very intelligent,” laughs Davis.”


Leave a Reply